Attempting to cop a feel driven by raging hormonal moments, not thinking of the responsibility of one's actions, marriage or even the next thirty minutes is totally different when you realize that your wife is someone that is depending on you to treat her above all others in the world for a lifetime. I was terrified of what lay ahead: not just the sex or sleeping together, but what we'd been through and survived. Would she be so terrified by all this that she just can't be a wife right now: just a scarred, terrified little girl?We heard the water stop running in the shower so I waited a couple of minutes before going to her. As I rose to leave I said, "Well here goes, wish me luck."Looking back on this moment, I can put it all in perspective, but at the time, I felt so torn with mixed emotions that I was suddenly filled with guilt. Let me explain. Have you ever felt diametrically opposing thoughts and emotions at the same time? Almost like you've got an angel on one shoulder and a. "You think Barry will like?" I think he'll just eat you up."Zsofia continued circling around the room, constantly staring at Sondra, sizing her up like a new car. It was just like how Zsofia had been eyeing her ever since they met in class. Zsofia had been that odd girl in the back of Psych 101 who somehow had felt the need to bond with Sondra. And for whatever reason, Sondra had decided to let her. Not that she regretted that decision; she considered Zsofia a friend, even if she was at times a bit strange. But that was more or less expected of a Tri Omega; being strange was kind of their thing."I think you're scrumptious," Zsofia said, "but I've got something to add to it." You do?"Zsofia smiled, that strange, tempting smile, and guided Sondra over to her mirror. With both of them watching Sondra's reflection, Zsofia stood behind her, her hands waving slowly over the shape of Sondra's body like a stage magician trying to be overly theatrical, except in Zsofia's case it was actually.
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